susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
