Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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