her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
