You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
how does that bad decision feel?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
