i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize