no, he came in my armpit
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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