she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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