he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
