You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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