So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I can't put those talents on a resume
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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