I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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