Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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