New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
