The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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