I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
