a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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