She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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