What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
