Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Threesome in a minivan. New low
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
