I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize