Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
