yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
