I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
