I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
