I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
They have beer where we have blood.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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