Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
