Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
