My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
