Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
