I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It's Friday. Sex?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
