id be glad to
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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