so explain again why im purple
no
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
