I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
