puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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