just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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