Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
