I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
