I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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