Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize