I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
