Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
