You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I deserve this hangover.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
