There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He? As in you personified your dick?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
