its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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