I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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