so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
