I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I bet he comes in French.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
