I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
