4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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