You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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