So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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