he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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