Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
