dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It was confusing and full of hummus
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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