Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
