just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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