So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
