What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
