kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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