so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
