Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
