but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
