i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
