um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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