During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
