We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
