I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
