it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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