the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
