HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
