sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize