could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
