Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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