you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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