if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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