I wanna passion pit in your ass
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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