it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
