i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
